As most of you already know from Facebook, I resigned from my teaching job today to stay home with the girls. It has been a hard decision for me in many ways. We have been talking on and off about it for about 4 months now and I am so glad that the decision is finally made and that I am at peace with it.
It was a hard decision for me because I love teaching. I feel alive in the classroom and it is truely a perfect job for me. I feel like I am good at it and it takes little effort for me to do it well. Sorry to toot my own horn there but that is how I feel. I also love where I work and work with some of the best teachers. So it is hard to leave that little family as well.
I did not go to college to be a teacher. I had different jobs after college and then ended up teaching. After my first year I knew I was in the right place and couldn't imagine doing anyting else. Then I had Bailey, I was able to spend a long maternity leave with her and then back to work for a few weeks and then back to work when she was 8 months old after summer break. It was very hard for me to leave her and it was tough to work and pump and then be up with her in the night. I wanted to stay home but it really wasn't an option at the time. As she got older, I don't know if it got easier or if I just got used to leaving her. It was nice to have something else to do and be someone else besides mom. Then I had McKenzie and again got a long maternity leave and was able to not only watch McKenzie grow and change but to also watch BAiley grow in change. I did not have any paid time off for this maternity leave so I really had to start looking at our finances to make sure that we could make ends meet. It is funny how if you align your priorities correctly then you can make money go a lot further. In April I told Trever that I thought we could make things work with his salary and that I wanted us to start thinking about me not going to work in the fall. We have been talking about it ever since. I have gone back and forth about the decision many times but now I know it is the correct decision.
People always say that being a stay at home mom is the hardest job and maybe it is for some people. I figure it is all about your perspective. I mean I don't think it is easy but niether is leaving your kids for someone else to raise. When you are a working mom all the "mom stuff" doesn't go away. You just have to do all that stuff after a long day at work. I don't know if everyone is wired to stay home with their kids but what I can tell you is that I love it. Teaching takes a lot out of you especially if it is done right so you can't just sit at a desk in your own world. You are needed all day long and then when you get home you are needed there too. Between being a nursing, working mom and another pregnancy I have felt like at times in the last couple of years that I was sort of a half ass mom and and a half ass teacher (pardon my french). Its hard to give so much at school and then come home and give so much more so something has to give. For me rather than let one totally go by the waste side I sort of sacrificed some of both worlds.
Anyway, it is so calming and peaceful for the decision to be made. I think I will return to the classroom one day when the girls are older but for now I am going to be a teacher at home. I am sure some days teenagers going through puberty will seem like a piece of cake compared to a 2 year old! HA!
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