Heavy Heart

This is my 7th year of teaching and over the years I have heard about my "kids" growing to become more mature, going to high school, graduating from high school, going to college, becoming parents (maybe a little to early) but I was not prepared to hear that one had died yesterday.

I got the news today driving out to see Trev at the deer lease and my heart literally sunk and then had 2 hours each way to spend in the car thinking about it. To. Much. Time. To. Think. To much time to think about how horrible it was that I wouldn't hear about her doing all the above mentioned things. To much time to think about the heart break of her family. To much time to think about the heart break of her friends who are also my former "kids". To much time to think about why was she in the wrong place at the wrong time. To much time to think that I hope I never lose Bailey. TO. MUCH. TIME. TO. THINK.

To keep myself from thinking myself into a tail spin I took time time to think about the delightful soul that she had. I remember the first day of school and pausing for minute when coming to her name..."Shadow" yes "Shadow" that's my name. Strange name for a child I thought but soon came to realize what a pleasent soul she was. She was the student of every teachers dream...smart, hard worker, intelligent,and helpful. The thing I remember most about her though was her very kind spirit. She really wanted others around her to be comfortable and happy. She was in my pre-ap class and the first day of school a kid had been misplaced in my class and he didn't speak english. Like just arrived from Mexico the day before didn't speak English and Shadow stepped in right away to translate and make him feel comfortable and then expressed concern that perhaps he might need a schedule change. She was my little mother and helper to a boy named J. J had autism and was intelligent but socially he was that of a 3rd grader. He often had break downs and at times led me to question why it was I was teaching. Shadow though took care of him. If he cried because he didn't get a piece of candy in a game she gave him hers, if he couldn't find his pencil she gave him hers, if he didn't have a partner she would be his. That is just how sweet her spirit was. I don't quite know why God takes kids from us so soon sometimes and I am not quite sure why he took Shadow either, but what I do know is that she toughed my life and I will never forget her sweet spirit.